Monday, November 14
11.14.1
Tulog na, mahal ko
hayaan na muna natin ang mundo'ng ito..
'lika na, tulog na tayo.
Tulog na, mahal ko
wag ka'ng lumuha, malambot ang iyong kama..
saka na mamroblema...
Tulog na..
hayaan na muna natin sila..
mamaya, di ka na nila kaya pa'ng saktan..
kung matulog, matulog ka na.
Tulog na, mahal ko
nandito lang ako bahala sa iyo..
sige na, tulog na muna..
Tulog na, mahal ko
at baka bukas ngingiti ka sa wakas,
at sabay natin haharapin ang mundo..
Tulog na..
Hayaan na muna natin sila..
mamaya, di ka nila kaya pa'ng saktan..
kung matulog, matulog ka na..
Tulog ka na.. -Tulog Na
...
I realized that for those three meesly days, i was never so sad in my life.i wanted to stop the writhing pain, burning, gnawing, crumbling, simmering concoction of despair once again..all over again..
i wished so hard for the fire to come..to burn me..to finish burning me, and reduce me to ashes at last.
...
i felt myself sinking..getting stuffed back in that God-forsaken place between hell and purgatory..
the goodness in me remained..still wished then all the happiness that they deserved..
but at some point..even that got consumed by the pain too.
i raised my devoured arms and pressed the ants to my chest. i hate and love and hate slow deaths.
...
my salvation? ray of hope? drop of cooling water?
God's lips in the bottom of my soul, and Rain's kisses all over me.I leave what's left of me in Your hands. Do what You will, just let them be happy.
maybe i should go for the window anyway. what's there to fight for, right?
i was that easy to forget, God..six times in a row. yeah, beat that.
...
a lot of times, i thought that i dont belong here..
in this world, in this life..in this reality..
but no. no booze or cigs or knives or jerking off for me.i'll prove to the world that i do love you.
...
...
and then..
the love.
..sabi na'ng di kita iiwan...
i'll be waiting for that kiss too.*smiles gently*
...