Monday, December 12
i dont need nor want your apologies..
i dont want better, i dont want best..
all i ever wanted was for you all to be happy..truly happy..
and now that you are..
i guess i want me to be happy too.
...
too much to ask.
enough of the drama.
never do things that you'll regret.
if you believe in something, fight for it till the last breath.
for your information:
celine estrada is not like anybody you've ever met..or will ever meet in your lifetime.
all she wanted for herself..was to love. and be loved in return.
she did love with all her heart..and soul mind body. everything.
bad move. why? check the url you just typed.
martyr? no.
angel? no.
dumb? no.
..you don't know her pain and her joy.
and you never will.
...
and no, hindi to pagdadrama.
sirang plaka lang, nagsasabing..
be happy. truly happy. you all deserve to be.
Wednesday, December 7
12.8.4
Last night
I saw you standing there..
Legs spread
Slicing through the air..
Now i see you,
No more masks..
Different faces,
Spinning fast
The virtuous-
So cold..
The virtuous are falling down on me
This night
I see you standing there..
Pretending
Like I'm not there..
Never meant to be this way
Never want to be ashamed
The virtuous are crashing down on..
Me. -Twilight
...
What's the best feeling in the world?
When you're me..
Dip yourself in the center of the pool, look up into the sky, let the surface blur your hearing and senses, gently cradle you in softly licking rocking waves.
...
Misha: *wraps a long strip of bubblegum wrapper chain around my chest to form a tube-top* "Look ate Kyra, I get to touch her boobies!"
Quennie: *squints up at me* "Hoy..ba't ang cute ng mga mata mo? Dey look pretti. Whatcha do?"
Steph: "Sino kaya mommy ko.."
Me: *snickers*
Sir Mitra: *smiles at me* "You hab agen MAAAAAYYYYDDD my day, miss E!"
Me: *flashes a smile* *pause* "God, im so bored..."
Anne: "Cel..baka pwede ka..umurong lang ng onti.."
Steph: "Celine! bakit ka ganyan?? Meron ka, noh?"
Me: "NO! I wish i was that simple!"
Levi: *stares* "um..excuse me..are you from Assumption?"
Me: "yes."
Levi: *pause* *flips pancakes* "er..Assumption antipolo?"
Me: *grin* "yes."
Levi: *blink* *flips pancakes* "are you Celine??"
Me: *cocks head* "Yup!"
Levi: *blink blink* "I'm levi. ehe.."
Me: *laughs* "o, yan ah! bumili na ako ng pastor peaches!"
Cai: "Oh my God...feeling ko..di ko kakayanin kapag anjan ako sa pwesto mo.."
Emily Rose: "How can they deny the existence of God when i show them the devil?"
Icelle: "Pray for me..board exams na namin.."
Justin: *gapes at me*
Me: *grin* *twirls around* "Okay ba suot ko, pare?"
Justin: *nods, still gaping* "Uh-huh.."
Me: *looks into the rearview mirror* "Oy! BEHAVE!"
Kyra: *hugs me tighter*
Me: "Buto yan..my sternum.."
Kyra: "yeah..i can feel your heart going thud thud.."
Nica: "you're gonna do WHAT?! sasamahan kita! ayoko mag-isa ka na haharapin siya.."
Levi: "dude..that doesnt sound too promising.."
Me: *smiles* "I know..but i'll take this chance. I choose to."
Leah: "O, si celine naman!"
Me: "For maika! Happy birthday!"
Leah: O_O "Putang ina ka Celine! Ganyan ka rin ba magmahal??"
Me: "We love you just the way you are, maika.."
Maika: *mouths* "Thank you.."
Anne: "wow..first time mo mag-curl ng hair?"
Me: "er..yeah.."
Anne: "bagay sayo!!"
Me: "Tama na! Sunog na buhok ko! Nangangamoy pritong isda na!"
Nica: "payag ba kayo maging boyfriend ko si LT?"
Me: "NO!" *blink* "Boyfriend yan ng barkada!"
Steph: "cel..maging materialistic ka naman for once.."
Cata: "Padamihan tayo ng chiks! Yaoicon yaoicon yaoicon!!!"
Les: "Its a poor substitute.."
Sago: "Bitay naman 'tong mga to.."
Mara: "shuichiro!!!"
Me: "L'arc-en-ciel means WHAT?! Good God! Are they gay?!"
Cata and Bernie: "NO!!!"
Trent: "dont go.."
Nica: "yeah babe..you deserve better.."
Me: "I dont want better..i dont want best.."
Nica: "Then what do you want?"
Me: "I just want to love..and have someone truly love me for all that i am."
Emily Rose: "I choose to stay.."
Me: "..I choose to love."
...
...
What's the best feeling in the world?
When you're me..
Its emptying your pockets and scraping your palms clean and putting everything in His hands..
Kick off your sandals and dive into the water..
Float around as the waves gently rock you to deaf and numbed sleep..
..and know that He wont let you drown.
Friday, December 2
12.3.6
i made a long entry about the other day..
for some reason, it got deleted. all that registered was a little "c".
*sigh* guess the world isn't ready to know about the hatred of Celine.
*leans back* guess it doesn't really matter..
all that pain will be just for me and for my Liege.
...
besides..
we're starting again anyway..
i may have cursed myself to the lowest circle of hell the other night..
but my angel's come back to pull me up.
..i dont know what happened..
why you felt that way..
pero mahal kita..
maging komplikado na ang lahat, basta yun..
yun ang hindi magbabago.