Friday, February 11
Feb. 11 Fri.
“Nobody knows just why we’re here..
Could it be Fate or random circumstance?
At the right place,
At the right time..
Two roads intertwine..” –You’ll Be Safe Here
...
Its amazing waking up and not having to groan and pull the covers over your head, in mild frustration that you’re still alive in this fucked up twisted world..
Coz its not a fucked up twisted world anymore..
It seemed brighter..
And mildly sweeter..
And your pillows seems a lot softer and fluffier.
...
I cant imagine..
Its quite hard to think..
That a few weeks ago, I was practically dead – and I always cried myself to sleep after a heartbreaking day and a soul-wrenching slashing/drinking/smoking resistance ritual.
Its hard to remember how my frown looked like..coz I was always smiling now..
My hair was always neat..
And everybody noticed. And they loved it..
...
I was happy.
Truly happy.
And I didn’t have to smile or laugh or dance just to show it.
I was holding my lunchtray on my way to the barkada cafeteria table, when I suddenly stopped in front of them all. They looked up at me, and I just stared blankly, blinking twice.
“O, Cel..you seem..different..”
“Guys..im..”
“..what?”
“I’m happy..truly happy..”
...
I could feel it brimming inside me. Warm and soft and overwhelming.
Napapapikit ako sa sarap.
It paid off..
It all paid off..
I just realized..
That if I hadn’t went through what I did, I wouldn’t have crossed this path.
For once..
Im thankful I went through that sick twisted seemingly God-forsaken existence I lead before..
Coz now im happy.
And I sure hope he is too.
...
...
I made a poem for EMANON, and after reading it over, I was quite stunned.
I..I actually couldn’t believe how exteremely sad I was before..that I was capable of such misery – enough to fuel my dark inspiration and come up with something so..well, SAD.
I hope I wont have to go back there again..
And I am trying..one day at a time..
*smiles*
...
*Goodbye*
by: cursedchild
Soft cold lips of faded gold
Dared breathe upon creased, sun-baked petals..
Silent trails of chaotic passions-
In streaks of crimson, and blue-black smudges.
Angry galaxies of dying red stars
Run across the narrow expanse of coffee-colored void..
Strands of salt-laced ebony –
Falling softly as tears of the sky;
Cascading, gently grazing,
The twin auburn sunsets across the blurred horizon.
As a solitary drop of liquid diamond
Cuts across the dimly-lit sky;
Flowers bloom and wilt in its fleeting wake..
As the Dawn’s moist lips press gently against parched, cracked earth..
“Goodbye..”
-comes her whisper, confession, final admonition –
Like a dying butterfly, fair and fragile,
Gently weaving through the warm fingers of the afternoon breeze..
Before drowning in the molten-gold gaze of gentle Twilight.
...
Thank you God..
Thank you, sis..
Thank you all my reasons..
And..
Thank you, Anne..for holding my heart right now.
Sorry kung madugo-dugo at medyo durog..
Pagpasensyahan..takot pa ako ipamigay nang lubusan eh..
Yaan mo.
Asakin din puso mo.
Eto o, nasa time capsule..
At di ko ilalabas ‘to, hanggat literal na madapa sa harapan nating dalawa ang Prince Charming mo.
*laughs*