Tuesday, February 1
Feb. 1 Tues.
“You’ll be safe here..
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears,
Weary heart..” –You’ll Be Safe Here
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My barkada loves the situation im in now..
They’re happy for me.
Very happy.
For the first time daw, I’m neat and smiling, glowing and happy..truly happy.
But..
There’s always a ‘but’.
They don’t..completely approve of it..
Of him..
...
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I knew that they were only showing their concern for me, trying to save my fragile heart from breaking all over again..
Giselle: “Ay nako guys! Protektahan nyo si Celine! Nangyari na yan sakin dati, nako..take good care of her!”
But it hurt that they were snuffing out my happiness with reality checks. Filling my heart and head with doubts and fears galore – as if I didn’t already have enough of them to last me a lifetime..
I just wanted to shut the fuck up and sleep – if he was just a dream, then I don’t mind dreaming my whole life away, thank you very much.
If he’ll play me, let him play me.
I’ll only get hurt if I want to.
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But no matter what others think..
I trust him.
I love him..
I’ll find out on my own.
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Right now, my heart’s weary with doubts and fears.
And everything’s making me feel like I have nobody to lean on..
I hate the feeling..
Call me Psyche.
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