Thursday, January 13
Jan. 13 Thurs.
"Hindi kami naniniwala." -my berks
...
She said she loved me..
And missed me..
Begged me to text back.
I didn't.
...
After 8 years of the same thing, you think I'd be stupid enough to fall for the same shit trap she sets?
Of missed kisses, hugs, twirled hair, crisp cash, ah fuck it.
I spent approximately five seconds trying to figure out if she really meant all that, or just wanted more money again.
I may be stupid, but I aint dumb.
Your 4,000-peso worth of a half-daughter bids you good night and good life.
...
...
I pried the empty brandy glass from his slackened grip, and helped him up from the sofa.
I felt a silent chaos of emotions weigh me down - pain, pity, disgust, anger, and one undefined that softly prodded the raw yielding flesh between my ribs and breast bone.
I envied him. He couldn't feel a thing..
I gulped down the thick chunk of my tongue at the back of my throat as I led his staggering form onto the bed, draping the thin membrane of a blanket over his limp body.
There was envy..and respect. With a silent wish that there was more of that forbidden nectar in the bottle left for me..
"Good night, dad.."
...
...
They wouldn't stop asking me what was wrong.
I refused to say a word.
I knew they would only get hurt and disturbed, bow their heads and fall silent with the inevitable pity they always ended up giving me no matter what.
I loved them for their concern..
But I hated the fact that they only see me when I wanted to hide.
I snapped.
"WALA NGA EH!"
The devil growls tagalog.
...