Saturday, January 8
Jan. 8 Fri.
"Ba't ang bait mo sakin?" -me
...
I fell.
...
Yes, I fell.
Me..
in all my melting icequeenness,
My breaking barriers..
With my shiny ebony black waterfall of hair tied in a half-pony..
My tweezed eyebrows, concealed scars, shaded eyes, glossed lips..
My tinkling gold bangles that matched my earrings..
My assymetrical diagonal-striped gold and sienna two-piece gown with beads lining the slash of fabric across the neck..
My tight, unforgiving skirt..
All the way down to my gold, two-inch high, pointed, embroidered heels.
I fell.
In all that I wore..
And in all that I was.
...
...
It was too good to be true..
It was impossible for it to happen.
Especially to me.
He was too nice.
...
...
I tilted my head back and stared into the softly-lit canopy of broad leaves and twisted branches..
"Are you wishing upon a star?"
"Walang stars eh.."
"Oh..wishing upon a leaf, then, I see."
I smiled.
He laughed softly.
In the pale streetlights, his fair skin was glowing like the moon..elegantly accentuating the inexplicably enthralling contrast of his beauty marks.
His lips were of faded pink, and his hair was a bed of liquid ebony.
The life and passion and optimism that he exuded was that of a fire clutching to the wick, inevitably drawing in the lost drifting souls that wandered the earth.
At some point during the night..
When the fiery lights dimmed low, and the drunken laughter faded away into the sober embrace of their friends..
I actually imagined how it would feel like to kiss his cheek and hold him close, and not have to let go.
...
...
It was too good to be true.
He was too nice.
I fell silent at my father's amused guffaw, and smiled sadly to myself.
With a sigh that only the frosted car window heard, I looked out into the star-lit sky and wished.
I wished he didn't act so nice to me.
I wished I didn't act so vulnerable.
I wished I didn't close my eyes when I ate that cone of dirty ice cream.
I wished the alcoholic drinks had more than 6% alcohol.
I wished dad didn't have to be just a village away from the party.
I wished I drank more than one bottle.
I wished I didn't care what he thought about me after that night.
I wished I dirty danced with my friends.
I wished I was a guy.
I wished I didn't let myself fall.
I wished he was gay.
I wished..
I wished dad would have told me that the guy he set me up with already had a girlfriend sooner.
...