Thursday, July 22
Jul. 22 Thurs.
“How many times did I pray
You'd find me?
How many wishes on a star...� –You First Believed
...
I wonder when will it finally register in my head that
MY WORDS MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO YOU WHATSOEVER...
Yeah, I wonder.
I try again and again.
I don’t know why anymore.
...
I know that I don’t have hope, and that I never will...
But why do I still find myself trying?
Maybe I’m just trying to be a friend, trying to show you that you’re worth much more than you think, trying to convince you that you are something worth loving...
Or maybe I’m just so addicted to the pain?
Or maybe...there’s this teensy part of me that still believes...
...
Aaah, ffu*k.
Forget it, dammit. I should just forget it all.
Just like all the others, I should just forget.
They all made it look so damn easy...
...
But...how could I forget you?
"You First Believed"
How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star
Gazing off into the dark
Dreaming I'd see your face
Safe at home unafraid
Captured in your embrace
So many times
When my heart was broken
Visions of you
Would keep me strong
You were with me all along
Guiding my every step
You are all that I am
And I'll never forget
It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed
There were times
When I'd thought I'd lost you
Fearing forever was a dream
But it wasn't what it seemed
Placing your hand in mine
You could see in the dark
You were guiding my heart
It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And you showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed
How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star
...
Somehow...
No matter how much it all hurt, how much it killed me, how much its STILL killing me...
No matter how goddamn hopeless it is...
I don’t want to forget you.
...