Wednesday, July 21
Jul. 21 Wed.
“Oh, ate...pwede ba makatulog na lang ako ngayon, habang hug kita?� –me
...
I got killed.
Again.
But Ate Sop was there. She hugged me, and I wanted to melt right then and there. Fall asleep in her warm embrace...
I nearly broke into tears as I was hugging her.
But I didn’t, coz I never cry in school.
And coz...I was ashamed to cry in front of her. My idol.
I was scared. That she’d get hurt and leave me.
...
As I was leaning against the railing, I stared blankly straight forward at the overcast sky. As the wind whipped against my PE uniform and tangled hair, something dawned on me...like somebody was whispering to me, like a certain truth was injected into my head.
*If I glance upward, I’d see my answer.*
But I didn’t glance upward. Instead, I stepped up on the railing and bent over to see the people walking on the ground floor below. I saw Les walking with her busmates.
I shouted her name, but she didn’t hear me.
Just then, I turned my gaze on the people Les was walking to.
And there she was. Si Idol.
...
The person who was everything I ever wanted to be...
But I could never be.
...
Ang saya talaga nila.
Sinigaw ko pangalan nila, pero di nila ako narinig.
Nagtatawanan sila.
Andun lang ako, nakabitin na parang timang, naka-tulala lang habang naglalakad sila paalis, palayo sa akin...
Kinawayan ko na lang sila.
...
There was my answer.
They all leave.
*closes eyes*
...
But as the barkada whisked me away, I looked up at the windows above the railing where I was leaning.
My eyes widened a bit, as I saw...
...
A butterfly.