Sunday, July 18
Jul. 18 Sun.
“Sayang naman...� –me
...
I was dreaming.
I was sitting on a wooden table, downing a shot of tequila. I knew why. I was using it as an outlet for my depression. She was happy with her savior again, and I was alone with my bottle of booze.
Just then, I changed. I morphed into her. She was the one downing the shot of tequila, looking like the whole world crashed down on her. She looked a helluva lot sadder than me.
The scenery changed. I was in front of the Multi, ang it was raining so damn hard. I was waiting for somebody in the rain, getting drenched and practically freezing. I was shivering like heck, but I still stood there, still waiting for her. She never came. She was happy with her savior somewhere. I hung my head.
Just then, I changed again. I morphed into her again. This time, she was the one standing in the rain. But she had a navy blue umbrella over her head. But it didn’t do much good, though, coz she was still getting drenched as ever. She wasn’t as wet and cold as I was, but she looked much sadder than I did.
Somehow...it felt like she was waiting for someone too...
Me.
...
If I endure all this pain and suffering in secret just for you to stay happy...
Then when the time comes, if I point a loaded gun to my head in front of you...
And give you the warmest smile, filled with all the love I feel for you...
If I whisper “Be happy...� before pulling the trigger...
If I let my limp, lifeless body fall into your arms...
...
Would you care?
Would you cry?
Would you hold me close?
Would you beg for me to come back?
Would you finally realize all the things I did, felt, and edured for you?
Would you finally...
Love me?
...