Monday, June 21
Jun. 21 Mon.
"How can you see the splinter in your brother's eye, if you yourself have a wooden beam in your eye?" -Jesus
At the morning assembly, I was greeted by an interesting reflection from Sr. Carla.
"Before we can forgive others...
We must learn to forgive ourselves..."
...
I twitched. My eyes widened.
I leaned back a bit, and looked away...
Only to find that somebody across the multi had done the exact same things.
We were both leaning back, biting down on our lips, with eyes wide open...on the verge of immediate sinking. Our eyes met, and we supressed our manic laughter.
*Mana mana lang.*
...
Later that day, as I was leaning against the railing on the 4th floor, savoring the feel of the Wind as he ran his fingers through my hair...
I remembered something that happened last week...
We had free time at computer class, which meant 80 minutes of WinPopup.
*grin*
Loko talaga mga classmates ko. They kept sending corny jokes, and hilarious remarks about various things. Anne was still inviting us to her birthday party then. Aleli was goofing around by sending "asl?" messages...which were answered, by the way!
With the school thrust echoing in my mind, an idea came to me.
I took a deep breath. This was gonna be hard. But I had to do it.
Sure, she's my mortal enemy...sure, she hurt and killed me countless times before...then deserted me and erased me from her past like a discarded bar rag... But I had to do this. After two years, I had to try...at least through WinPopup, I could try.
...
me: heya...musta na? *smiles*
her: oy! Celine! Long time no hear, ah...
me: ...yeah...it's been quite a while...
her: okay naman ako, hehehehe
me: that's...that's great...
her: hehehehe
me: ...*looks at you across the room* *smiles* ...*sigh* i missed out...
her: ano?
me: de, wala yun, joketaym lang, hehe...so, musta na sa kabilang mundo?
her: hah? ano yun? di ko yun alam, ah...
me: ...
me: *closes eyes* ...wala pa rin nagbago...
her: hehehehehe...nanoonood ka ba ng Spongebob?
...
I tried, God.
And after all this time, she...
She's still killing me.
I want to hate her for all she's worth.
But I can't. It's another one of Fate's ingenious traps.
*How can you be angry at somebody who can't even remember what she did wrong?*
YOU CAN'T.
So I, being the one stuck with the painful memories, am forced to shoulder all the pain of a past so surreal...and watch her from afar, as she lives on without a single pang of guilt or regret...
Coz she can't remember a damn thing.
...
But I still love her...
And I pity her. Why?
Because she'd never know.
*smiles*