Friday, June 11
Jun. 11 Fri.
"Wanna go to Mexico and never get back?" -some guy I chatted with
Vamp was right. This world just keeps getting werider and weirder.
Last night, I fell asleep in front of the TV at around 6pm.
Then I woke up at 11pm.
My dad was in the living room, watching TV. I went over and saw him flipping through a celphone manual written in french. I greeted him and asked him what in the world was he doing. He told me to take a look at the couch beside my bed. I did, and...wow. A new celphone. I blinked. I thanked him profusely, but...well...
The truth is, I didn't really want a new cellphone. Heck, I don't really NEED a new one. My old 3310 (kuya's hand me down) works fine, really. I go for practicality, not necessarily style. Damn, I remembered my old cel... A worn-out 3210... It was crimson and ebony, and chipped at some places, but hey. Sentimental value. Then I remembered it got lost. *sigh* And now, my dad thinks I'm like my brother who's embarrassed with his unit. I'm not!
But I gotta admit, it was cool. I kept playing the sound recorder. My voice was horrible, I sounded like a damn fruitcake. It took some time to get used to the keypad, though.
...
I chatted. On MIRc. It's the real world there, with all kinds of people. The good, the bad, the disgusting, and the just plain weird. There were a couple of people who reacted to my nick:
cursedgrl.
Hn. They all wondered why I was cursed. And I just told them the same thing over and over:
I dunno. Ask Fate. He's the one who seems to just love seeing me in pain.
They all wanted to *snort* break my curse. Right. Some were just looking for a good time, and a select few...really wanted to help. Like this dude from mexico... I told him a little about me, and the reasons why I think I'm cursed. Just a taste. The basics. Two minutes in, and he lost it.
him: oh my!
me: heh. told you.
him: i wish i could do something to help you...
me: well...thanks. but it seems nobody can help me.
him: you can run away.
me: ...i tried.
him: what happened?
me: ...i tripped and fell. then broke into a million pieces.
him: ...
me: hey, u ayt?
him: wanna go to mexico and never get back?
...
me: ...yeah.
him: where are you?
me: *laughs* halfway around the world.
him: damn! thats so far away! okay...any relatives in other countries?
me: *blink* none that i know of...
him: damn...
me: look, i appreciate your effort and all, but...its really okay. *shrugs* i've lived with this for a long time.
him: but you're suffering so much!
...
me: you have no idea.
...
...
There was this one guy. He said he didn't want to chat with me anymore when he realized my curse.
me: you don't want to chat with me anymore coz im cursed?
him: well...yeah. the curse could transfer to me.
...
me: this curse can't be passed around.
him: hey, i aint risking it. are you worth it?
...
..
.
me: ask youself that question, jerk.
him: well, now that you're calling me names, im sure you're not.
me: well, ive been through hell, and you...you just pulled the trigger.
him: yknow...i hate people who bitch about their lives.
...
...
I wasn't bitching.
...
But it got me thinking...
*Am I really worth it...?*
...
I sure as hell didn't think so.
But somebody thought otherwise.
"If you weren't worth it, I'd have dropped the sword.
I'd fight anyone. Anything."
...
*smiles*