Saturday, May 29
May 29 Sat.
"Okey yun, ah!" -me
Only one thing was resonating in my head as I lay in bed right after opening my eyes:
Roller Coaster.
...
At around 8:30, I went to Alex's house - our rendezvouz place - before we went for Enchanted Kingdom. I was the first to arrive. I just slumped on the sofa, and read a book, as I waited for the others to arrive. A while after Alex showed me a certain newspaper ad, Beija showed up. When we showed her the ad, she fell to the floor, laughing her head off. I covered my face with the book I was reading, as I shook with laughter.
The ad?
A picture of a wristwatch, with bunnies on the clockface. Umm...for the sake of the minors reading this blog, I won't specify. I'll leave you with these:
"Bunny Sutra" "Censored, Censored, Censored"
We chatted a little round the dining table about the *ahem* seating arrangements on the van. With Beija holding the pen and paper, I feared for my moral values. While Alex was talking to her friend over the phone, Beija and I went outside on the porch and sat on the bench. Beija then played a couple of songs on Alex's guitar. I just leaned on my hand and listened. After a while, we were both muttering an assortment of songs under our breaths...and Alex was getting impatient. The others hadn't arrived yet.
When they finally DID arrive, we went outside and boarded the van. As everybody was rushing to get their favorite seat, I was backing away. At Sop spotted me, and tugged me. Okay, so I got the seat right next to the door. After texting my dad, we were off. It was a long trip, and we had to pick up Alex's friend. After a couple of roundtrips (due to the very irritating lectures of the driver), the group was finally complete, and we were off to our stopover: Petron station.
We were really noisy at the McDonald's line, but we hardly cared.
Ate Sop: "O, Celine...anong i-oorder mo?"
Me: "Hmm...Large fries." (pause) "Yun lang."
Everybody: "Ano?!"
Me: "Whaaat? Di ko mauubos pag mas marami dun!"
Ate Sop: "Kumain ka!"
Les: "Kundi, pakakainin ka namin!" *raises her hand, pretending she's holding a spoon* "Here comes the choo-choo!"
Me: "Nyaaaaa! Scary!"
Us: *laughing our heads off*
After buying our food at McDo and at Starbucks, I went straight to the store. To buy what? Candy, of course. Lots of it. I grabbed about 5 lollipops, and 2 jumbo lollipops - jumbo, as in almost the size of an egg, and a pack of Bubble Gum. After paying for them we went back to the van to eat. I had to go back with Angela to McDo, coz she didn't have a fork and spoon.
Beija: "Aaaww...bait ni sister!"
Me: "Sira!"
At McDo, I met Pia! We chatted a little, then Angela and I had to go. When we boarded the van, we ate and were off to E.K. During the trip, we were having a lot of fun. *sweatdrop*
Angela: *points outside to a firetree* "Ang ganda ng firetree..."
Me: "Oo nga... Uy, alam mo ba, may tribe sa northern Luzon na pumupugot ng mga ulo pag namulaklak ang mga firetree."
Them: "Urgh...talaga?"
Me: "Yap. Sabi sakin ni dad."
Angela: (to ate Sop) "Ate, diba kakaiba din ung tradition ng mga T'boli?"
Ate Sop: "Ay, oo nga..."
Us: "Bakit?"
Ate Sop: "Kapag may dumating na visitor, yung man of the house ino-offer nya ung kanyang asawa or mga daughters sa visitor."
Us: *raises eyebrow* "Woah..."
(pause)
Me: *laughs* "Okey yun, ah!"
(pause)
Them: *eyes widen, gapes at me* "YAAAAAKKKKK! CELINE!!! SAN NANGGALING YUN?!"
Me: *stutters* "I-er...I didn't mean it that way!"
Les: "Celine, ikaw, ha...lumalabas na..."
Beija: *laughing her head off*
Me: "No! Tumigil ka nga jan, sis!"
Them: "Asus! Deny ka pa jan, Celine!"
Me: *slaps my hand on my forhead* *sinks into my chair*
When we finally reached E.K., we were so excited, that we had half a mind to wade through the grassland across the highway to the park. But then we were stopped by a personell who told us we couldn't go in. Why?
SMART lockdowned the whole park to have an exclusive day to SMART personell only.
*curses*
We gaped at the guy who told us the news, and had to resist the urge to whip out our grenade launchers and bomb the place. After futile attempts of trying to talk to the people who managed the place, we were forced to go back. We decided to hang at Beija's place. The trip back was...okay. They were having lots of...fun. The important thing was, they were happy. All of them.
Oh, except for the girl who was constantly clenching and unclenching her fist, banging her head on the window beside her, stabbing her finger with her pin, locking her hands together and painfully squeezing them tight, and fighting the urge to slide open the door and jump out onto the highway.
We had a short stopover at some mall for a pitstop. Most of us stayed in the van. I borrowed Beija's CD player, and listened to one of her CDs. Track 3 was the bomb. I didn't even notice it was on maximum volume. I was laughing softly under my breath. *I was sinking...with a smile on my face.* Beija took one look at me, and snatched the player away.
Beija: "You're not sinking...you're DROWNING! GIVE ME THAT."
I slumped back into my chair. *Iris is a good song!* After a while, my dad called.
Me: *sign of the cross* "Here we go..."
Them: *falls silent*
Me: *talks to my dad, explains the change of plans* *hangs up* *slumps back into my chair*
(pause)
Les: "Are you aware that you said the word 'daddy' 6 times in a row?"
Me: "Yes."
Them: "Bakit?"
Me: "It's a sign of respect that became a habit. After every sentence, after every phrase...always ends with-"
Them: "Daddy."
Me: "Yeah."
(silence)
Beija: "Did he kill you?"
Me: "Umm..." *pause* "N-no..."
Beija: "Cel. Did he kill you? Yung totoo."
Me: "Erm...no....totoo." *inhale*
(silence)
Les: "That's weird...since she's talking and breathing, how could she be killed?"
Me: *knocks head against window*
When we finally reached Beija's place, we all hung around her room for a while. I stood in a corner. Beija asked us if we wanted to see her in a *cough* pink tanktop. *Tinatanong pa ba yun?* She agreed, opened her cabinet, and took out her pink outfit.
Beija: "Sige, isusuot ko. Uy, pero pangbahay lang siya."
Us: "Okay lang yun, sige, suotin mo na!"
Beija: "Okay."
(pause)
Me: "Dito ka na lang magbihis."
Beija: *stops dead*
Them: *eyes widen* *rolls on floor, laughing their heads off*
Te Sop: "Oh my God!"
Les: "Yaaaakkk! Celine! Kanina ka pa, ah! Nahahalata na!!!"
Beija: (amidst laughter) "Gagi!"
Me: *stutters* *slaps hand to forhead*
We then watched a movie called: Kung POW! Which turned out to be a very. very. very. IQ depleting flick. As in. Yeah, it was hilarious, but after the movie, we all got headaches. It was official. We all got dumber. But we had popcorn and coke! But we still got dumber. Dinner time, we gathered round the table, and ate chicken, pasta, cake and bibingka. I had to hand it to Beija's mom, she was good. She could prepare all this for 9 people on such short notice. *There were some things about Kaiser that Beija shouldn't have told us while we were eating...*
After dinner, we went back upstairs and watched Beauty and the Beast. Instead of watching, I just checked out Beija's collection of pics. *Sephiroth chibi version is CUUUUTTTEEE!!!* I was also laughing at the fact that Te Lalaine, Alex, and Les found Beast cute. Hahahaha!!! At some point, I found myself looking over to them - all cuddled together, enjoying the movie - then standing up and walking towards Beija's room, and just sitting there on the bed for the longest time. Then I would march to the bathroom, and stay inside for God knows how long - doing absolutely nothing. When I came to my senses, I found myself looking into the full-length mirror on the door, with my hand pressed against my reflection. I went outside, took one look at them, slumped in front of the computer and typed. Typed what? Everything I felt at the moment. Everything I wanted to do. The title:
"Right Now."
...
After the movie, we hung around in Beija's room again. Alex and her friend in one corner, slumped on the beanbag, Beija and Te Sop took the bed, and the rest of us gathered around Beija's huge container full of Lego. *I love Lego. Really.* Angela made an airplane that ended up looking more like a space shuttle, Les made a house that had a Christmas tree and way too many chairs, Ate Lalaine made a crossbow which she put a lot of Lego people on, and I... I made a HEART.
As I rummaged through the pile of Lego pieces, I discovered that making a heart was hard work. As in. I wanted to make it pure red, and there were lots of red pieces. But the pieces I was looking for were hard to find. And when I was putting them together, I would often absentmindedly place some of the pieces aside...and somebody else would take them. As the heart took shape, it was very hard to keep it together. It was so damn fragile! When I finally finished it, I put a Lego chair in the middle, and put the whole thing on a stand.
Me: "It's finished! My heart is complete!" *hugs the heart*
Them: "Wow..."
Alex: "Sabi na nga ba, heart yan, eh!"
Me: *still holding the heart gently* "Grabe, pinag-hirapan ko talaga to...its my heart..."
Them: *throws pillows around*
Beija: *accidentally throws a pillow at me*
Me: "WATCH IT, BEIJA! DON'T BREAK MY HEART AGAIN!"
Them: *laughs*
Beija: "Sowee..."
Me: *blinks* *laughs softly*
It dawned to me. Building a heart out of Lego was almost the same thing as *figuratively* building a heart. The pieces were hard to find, and it takes dedication and a lot of patience. Putting the pieces together needs precision and extreme care. Keeping them together was even more difficult. And the moment you finish building it, you marvel at it, and want to protect it for all you're worth. You hold it close to you. Then you find out that there are a lot of things that can destroy it, or break it. Then you realize it's empty - hollow. You put a chair in it, so that somebody would stay inside it, inside your heart.
...
I closed my eyes at the memory. Ah, yes...sounds so familiar.
...
I stared at the thing I created - my heart. There was a Lego person inside it.
Te Lalaine: *points to the Lego person* "Uuuyyy...sino yan?"
Me: *smiles* "Nobody."
Te Lalaine: "Ah, ikaw yan, ano?"
Me: "Nope..."
Te Lalaine: "Eh di sino?"
Me: *smiles* "Wala lang..." *takes out the Lego person, gives it to Te Lalaine* "Sayo na lang, ate."
Te Lalaine: "Awww...di wala nang laman puso mo..."
(pause)
Me: *closes eyes* *laughs softly*
...
I took a hinge-like Lego piece and attatched it to the heart. I closed the ladder-like hinge, which looked like bars cutting across the heart and the empty chair inside it.
I stared at it.
An empty heart. With bars.
I held it close and smiled.
*It's better this way...*
...
Ate Lalaine took our finished Lego creations, and put Lego people on them, and took pictures. Haha, we enjoyed that a lot. When it was time to go back to Alex's place, none of us moved. And nobody objected. But when we finally DID go...
Te Lalaine: *holding her Lego crossbow* "Oy, Beija!"
Beija: "What?"
Te Lalaine: *carefully puts hers, Les', and Angela's work in the Lego bin* "Alagaan mo yung mga ginawa namin, ha?"
Beija: "Sure...haha, unless kuya breaks them apart."
Te Lalaine: "Huy, wag naman..."
Beija: *laughs* "Okay, okay, aalagaan ko."
Te Lalaine: "Yay..."
(everybody gets out of the room except for me)
Me: *looks at the heart I made* *whispers* "Hwag mo nang alagaan yung sakin, Beija...its' not worth it anyway..."
...
After getting our pasalubongs from Beija, we left and went to Alex's place. We hung around for a while at the front porch, trying hard not to listen to the very 'baduy' songs and music coming from the neighbor who was having a party. *God! Ang baduy!* We were all fighting the urge to bulldoze the place to the ground. We talked about a lot of different stuff. Then Alex's older brother (who is really funny and cool, may I say) showed us a sketch he made.
Alex's kuya: *peeking through the front door* "Hey guys...gusto nyong makakita ng malupit na drawing?"
Us: "Sige ba..."
Alex's kuya: *grins* "Wait, alam nyo ba yung 'poring' sa Ragnarok? Yung mga cute na blobs?"
Us: "Yup."
Alex's kuya: "Eto ang version ko..." *shows us his sketch*
Us: *gapes* *laughs* *gapes again* "Woah, grabe..."
Les: *laughs* "Parang gangstah poring!"
Me: "Pucha, pare, astigin!!!"
Alex's kuya: *grins*
It was a picture of a really rotten poring. Think Mafia. Think gangsters. With the wrinkled skin, chapped lips, and narrowed sunken eyes. And don't forget the stick of cigar he's smokin. Grabe, ang astig.
After a while, Ate Sop's car came, and everybody left. Except me. Hn. First to arrive, last to leave. I embraced ate Sop, and ate Lalaine gave me her famous bone-crushing hug. Then out of nowhere, Les came up behind me, locked her arms around my ribs and squeezed her inner arms tight. I gasped for air for a few seconds, then laughed. I looked at Les as she let go of me, and she grinned.
Les: "Haha, I haven't done that in a while."
Me: "Yeah...thanks. Haha, y'know...it actually helps when you do that. My lungs tend to expand."
Les: *pouts*
When they all left, I hung around at the porch on the bench for a while. I don't know how long I sat there, just trying not to listen to the very irritaing sounds from the neighbor's party. Some time later, Alex's Dad was shocked to find me outside, and made me stay in the living room. So I did. I sat there on the couch, leaning against my bag, for the longest time. Alone. It was kinda embarrassing, since Alex was so sleepy already. I let her sleep. Her Kuya didn't seem to approve, though, but I convinced him I was ok alone.
*I wasn't. I sunk.*
When our car finally came, I thanked profusely, and said goodbye to Alex's kuya.
Damn...that was a day I'd never forget, haha!
...
But the day didn't end there. Not for me.
...
As the memories of the day that just passed flashed in my mind, only one song echoed through my head.
"But in reality I'm
Slowly losin' my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile-
Gradually I'm dying inside.
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Coz I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering."
...
"So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night..."
I took off my jeans and shirt, and changed into my pj's.
"Turn down all the lights..."
I turned off the lights, and crashed on my bed.
...
"Then I break down and cry...cry...cry..."
...
I closed my eyes.
...