Saturday, May 15
May 15 Sat.
"but... i dont.... see you as anything... more than a friend....." -her
WARNING: IF YOU ARE HAPPY, AND WANT TO STAY HAPPY...DO NOT READ THIS ENTRY. I MEAN IT.
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SABI NANG I MEAN IT, EH!
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Okay, if you're still reading, then you're either really sad, or really curious.
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OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST REALLY STUPIXD.
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Like me...
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How to Enter the 7 Stages of Hell All at Once:
Step 1: Read my May 2 entry...VEEERYY SLOOWLYY.
Step 2: Relish every word and thought.
Step 3: Read it again.
Magic Step: Change the ending to...
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I stared blankly at the screen.
My face flushed with a numb sensation.
My insides felt like a house of cards flopping down with a dull flutter.
I laughed.
Hard.
My laughter echoed throughout the house.
I grabbed the first thing I could reach...
A stapler.
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"LET'S SEE HOW THIS WORKS, SHALL WE?!" I shrieked, a manic glint in my eyes, and adrenalin pounding crazily through my empty veins.
Without thinking, I stuffed my left wrist against the cold steel, and squeezed the stapler with my right hand.
*Chink!*
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My eyes widened. My hands stopped shaking.
"Oh...dear..." I muttered, pulling my wrist away. I just stared... It was kinda pretty...
A remnant of an old scar, hidden beneath my wristwatch... With a sliver of cold steel neatly embedded against it, forming a cross... of dull brown and bright silver.
I gently prodded it. Then slowly pulled the staple out.
Crimson fluid bubbled up from one of the puncture marks, and slowly trickled down my wrist.
I just...stared. Trying to comprehend... Why didn't it hurt? Why was blood only coming out of one of the punctures? From such a tiny wound, why was there...SO MUCH BLOOD...?
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Status: Bleeding. Outside and in.
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I still wasn't thinking straight. I...wasn't thinking at all. My head was insanely pounding. After a few seconds...my mind snapped.
In a flash, I pressed my bleeding wrist against my mouth and...
me: you wanna know what im doing? im sucking the blood from my wrist...hahahaha...
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It was only until I was tucking myself in bed, did I realize... I had hit a vein. The puncture wounds were healed, but the vein still wasn't. The internal hemorrhage had formed a broad bump on my wrist. A VERY PAINFUL bump. It ached when I flexed my hand, or when even the least amount of pressure was exerted against it.
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At least it kept me from drowning in my emotional pain.
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But you know what?
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*Mahal ko pa rin siya.*