Monday, May 10
May 10 Mon.
"Wow! Mister Philippines!" -Tita Annie
Nothing much happened today...and even if it did, I can't remember, haha!
Every Sunday, the Estrada clan comes over to my lola's place for a get-together. I really miss my cousins...Kuya Lester and the twins - ate AnAn and EnEn in particular. We were very close when we were younger, and I looked so much like the twins, we would stick together and people called us triplets. Kuya Anton and Kuya Lester were best buds before - they used to get in trouble together, and bare their teeth at the camera pictures. But when I was nine, our mothers had an argument, and forced us to separate for 5 years or so. We grew up. I got taller, Kuya Anton got a lot more stylish, Kuya Lester got a whole lot smarter, and the twins got a lot prettier.
But I miss Regine the most. We used to be best of friends, growing up...always together in pics, sharing stories in our little corner, playing jacks on the floor, and having our own little adventures around lola's front yard. But she grew up too. She got smarter, and somewhat haughtier at some point. Then she became quite distant. But now, we were close again, sharing stories about our deranged teachers, x-men evolution, harry potter, psychic powers, and about school. She liked Linkin Park and Evanescence too...and she was becoming quite demented and loner in her school. I think she was being rejected in SanLo, so she's going to take HS in PhilSci. *Wince*
I tried to talk her out of it...A lot of my batchmates transferred there, and they CHANGED. Concrete example: my former best friend. I know Regine is smart - she really is. Fave is Math and Science, like me. But...PhilSci isn't really just about brains... This is one thing I learned from my former best friend...If you're not socially-inclined...you'll die in PhilSci. They chew you up and spit you out in your first year. Hectic academics plus bad gossip and teases equals death. I don't mean to badmouth PhilSci, its a great school, I'm sure. A lot of my teachers recommended me to that place. But...it doesn't teach much morals. And your mentality will eventually be: Kill or be killed. It's either you're up the social ladder, or you're the dirt they're standing on.
I didn't want Regine to change into somebody like...you know. *shudder*
But I can't stop her. If this is what she really wanted...I'll still be right here, accepting her for who she is and turns out to be. I'll help her stay good in any way. I'll track down and beat up anybody who badmouths her in PhilSci.
I'll still be the one who puts my arm around her shoulder in pics.
I'll still be the one who saves the space beside me on the sofa and dining table for her.
I'll still be the one who laughs with her when we hear something funny on TV, or when her little brothers do something stupid.
I'll still be the one who stands up to the sadistic scrutiny of our aunts and uncles, hold her shoulders and firmly say: "Regine...YOU ARE NOT FAT!"
I'll still be the one who says the prayer before meals with her.
I'll still be the one who crouches in a corner with her.
I'll still be her Ate Celine.
...
Ah, but for the time being...
Kainan na!
Pucha, napapamura ako sa pagkain ni lola! Ansaraaaaap, pare!
Haha, my grandma sure knows how to cook up a storm! Fish, vegetables, salads, fruits, meat, meat, and more meat! I mean da-mn! Even for an anorexic like me, I can't help but eat a lot everytime we have a get-together. At some point, Tita Annie asked me about my eating habits...
Tita: "Celine...bakit ka walang ganang kumain palagi?"
Me: "Er...kasi lagi akong nag-iisip, eh..."
Tita: "Ano? Anong koneksyon nun?"
Me: "Ah ganto, tita. Kung susubo na ako...napapatulala ako sa pagkain, tapos napapaisip ako...saan kaya nanggaling ung kanin? Pano kaya kinatay at na-process ung ulam...ganon."
Tita: "Ganon ka ba?! Ano ba naman yan! Kaya naman pala wala kang ganang kumain palagi!"
Me: "Ehehe...oo nga..."
Tita: "Sobra ka kung mag-isip! Try mo kaya...wag mag-isip kung kumakain ka. Try mo lang, kita mo...tataba ka, sigurado!"
Me: *laughs* "Sige ba, tita."
Tita Annie is nice.
I did. I got to finish my dinner, yeah! After eating, I played cards with my dad, Regine, and her younger brothers: Chris and Angelo out in the front yard. We had a lot of fun playing poker and 123pass. But when it started to rain, we cleared out and had to go home. In our clan, we have strict step-by-step procedure when we meet or say goodbye to our elders, to show respect.
1. Bless. (touch their hands on our forheads)
2. Kiss. (beso-beso)
3. Embrace. (embrace them. Duh.)
After the bless, kiss, embrace routine with our family (which took some time, we have a lot of aunts and uncles!), I pocketed the pack of cards. Angelo still wanted to play with them, and was throwing a fit. At first, he was wailing and whining and tugging at my arm. I didn't give in. Then he sulked in a corner and cried silently. I still didn't give in. Why? He had to learn. At first, I just dismissed it as a simple lesson to teach a child...but it dawned on me...it applied to me too...
Me: *gently strokes his back* "O, tahan na, Angelo...Sorry, pero hindi ko talaga mabibigay sayo ang gusto mo, aalis na kami, eh..."
Angelo: *continues sobbing*
Me: *closes eyes* "You have to learn...we can't all have what we want..."
Angelo: *sobs even more*
Me: *holds up his chin* "Hayaan mo Angelo. Next time. Next time maglalaro tayo. Next time, ok? O, tahan na, don't cry..."
Angelo: *sniffs* "Owkay..."
VCD Player: *plays harry potter*
Me: *smiles* "O, manood ka na ng Harry Potter...o, ayun, o, si harry potter!"
Angelo: *watches, laughs, acts as if nothing happened*
...
It's true. We can't all have what we want. It's a harsh reality. But we have to learn. I...have to learn. But he should be thankful. He couldn't have ONE of the many things he wanted...
I couldn't have ANYTHING I wanted.
Because the moment I acknowledge the fact that I want something...Fate makes sure I don't get it. Even goes as far as to give what I want to EVERYBODY ELSE...except for me.
...
It was raining hard outside, and Dad made us wear jackets. Kuya gave me his cap and I wore my green jacket with a hood. I put on the cap, zipped up the jacket, flipped on the hood, and put my hands in my pockets. I got a lot of different reactions from them:
Chris: "Ate! You look like Eminem!"
Regine: "Ate, you look...weird."
Dad: "Ano yang suot mo!"
Ah, but the winner:
Tita Annie: "Wow, Celine! Mukha kang...Mister Philippines!"
I pretty much laughed my head off all the way to the car, haha!
Oh yeah, and onother thing...elections suck.
Icequeen out.